Toxic Co-Workers – Six Great Ways to Be Immune to Toxic Co-Workers

We’ve all had them. There’s no escaping it. Toxic co-workers are everywhere, no matter what industry, how big or small the organization, or the company’s culture. Everyone defines “toxic co-worker” in their own way. I define it as them withholding needed information, being uncooperative, overly sarcastic, derogatory, backstabbing, hypocritical, passive-aggressive, dysfunctional, creating a negative atmosphere. I’m sure I’m forgetting some important ones, but you get the idea.

In just about every job I’ve held, it seemed that there was that one person whose mission was to make everyone else’s workday as miserable as possible. In one particular job, I had to work closely with this one colleague on various projects. Let’s just say that she wasn’t exactly the most cooperative person in the world, to put it mildly. I had to find a way to get along with her just enough to get these projects completed on time. Sure I could have had my boss intervene on my behalf, but I was determined to handle it myself.

I decided to try to connect with her, to search for clues around her office and find out what her interests were: hobbies, off-time activities, travel, etc. Once we shared some personal information about ourselves, it really helped to create a more relaxed interaction and break down some walls. From that point on, it was much easier to work together and get things done.

Here are a few other strategies to try in order to work well with toxic co-workers:

Don’t suffer in silence. Involve your boss or human resources if it gets to the point where you feel it’s necessary to have a third party mediate the conflict. If your co-worker has to be “forced” to work well with you, then so be it. You have to make yourself and your job the number one priority.

The most important word: Document. Document every negative interaction you have with that particular individual immediately after it happens. And if there are witnesses to your conversations, ask them to back you up in the event the problem escalates and human resources gets involved. Again, you want to protect yourself any way you can.

Take the high road. Don’t stoop to their level no matter how tempting or seemingly justified it might be. You don’t want to give them any sort of ammunition to use against you.

Pick your battles. There’s enough stress at work without heaping more on top of it. If there are issues that don’t directly affect your job, perhaps it’s a good idea to turn a deaf ear sometimes. The important thing here is that you don’t want this person to dictate your mood, well-being, or how your day goes.

Try open communication. Before involving a third party, consider having a frank and open discussion with the person to express how you’re feeling, to hear any concerns from the other person. Sometimes just putting it all out on the table in an honest and forthright way can help minimize tension and create an opening for a more productive and civil working relationship.

Trying one or a combination of these strategies will help to free up time and space for the important stuff (i.e.) doing your job well in a harmonious, nurturing and positive environment.