Preparing For Custody Mediation – How to Avoid a Child Custody Battle

Whether you are going to enter into a private or a court-ordered child custody mediation process, there are several things you need to know before you walk into that conference room. Mediation is the process in which parents make critical determinations after a divorce about their children’s future with the help of an expert negotiator. This process has proven to be very beneficial for the parents, children and family courts.

In a child custody case parents can choose to use mediation instead of having a court battle. Child custody mediation can also be a tool to settle differences once the custody fight has been started. Like in divorce mediation, in a child custody mediation it is suggested that both parents appear in company of their respective lawyers. The mediation conference is usually held in one of the attorneys’ office on a date and time all parties have agreed upon, usually several weeks in advance. An expert mediator, whose qualifications have already been reviewed by both attorneys, will facilitate the discussion.

Make the best out of those weeks before your mediation. Do your homework before you go in. The first concern you should address when facing a mediation process is how are you going to interact with your ex-spouse during the negotiation talks? You must always leave aside any resentment about the past. A child custody mediation process is about your children. It has nothing to do with the reason you got divorced. It is understandable that this is difficult for many to do, particularly in the case of a contested or adversarial divorce.

Meet with your attorney to discuss all the topics that are to be addressed in the mediation. Prepare a list of questions for your attorney to answer when you meet with him or her. Listen to your attorney’s advice regarding children’s support, place of residence, education, custody and visitation issues. Regarding custody and visitation, first determine with whom you think the children should live. Prepare a custody and visitation plan according to your preferences on how much time the children should spend with each parent, especially on holidays and special occasions. If possible, come with a preferred and a second option that are acceptable to you on how you would like each issue to be resolved. At the end of the meeting with your attorney you should have reached a conclusion on the direction or strategy to follow.

You should not have any other commitments scheduled for after the mediation, because you can never assume how long the mediation conference will last. Unless the parties have allotted a specific time for it, mediation could take between two and four hours, sometimes more. A continuation may be scheduled for future talks when necessary, so don’t worry if any of the topics were not considered in your first conference. A child custody mediation process might take somewhere between two to six conferences, depending on the parents willingness to yield to the other’s demand. This is why it is so important that you attend these meetings with an open mind and open ears. Keep in mind that this is not about your ex-spouse, but rather your children’s future benefit. You want to make sure that your children’s needs are taken care of in the best possible way.